Translated from the Bengali by Boudhayan Mukherjee.

Fear Calling Fear

I’m fearing to live
Fearing to turn my sight away
Fearing to spread out my palms,
Fear is overpowering me
Fearing to go ahead
Fearing to turn around

I’m fearing to depart
Fearing to stop
I’m fearing life
Fearing to stay alive.

I’m fearing to look at the sky
To look down at the sail below
Fear is calling my own fear
Fear meeting  fiery eyes
I’m fearing my own fear
I’m fearing fearlessness.

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My Mother tongue

My language has a yes and a no
My language has sun and moon
My language is sky voyage
My language breaks the trap on land

My language turns sky and sea blue
The working day and holiday afternoon
The eyes fill up with tears
My mother tongue calls and recalls
From life to the next life.

My language has ups and downs
But it will start a fight
If a yes is forced to a no.

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Apu

I chanced to meet up with Apu
At a tea-shop in Santoshpur
Sipping tea from a mud-made tea-cup
He looked up at the cloud wiped sky
Wearing torn slippers, discoloured shirt
His face unshaven for a few days
But his eyes full of wonder.

I saw Apu beside river Ganges
Hauling up the wooden framework
Of the Goddess floating in the water
He was looking curiously
At the little left colour
That stuck to the face of the idol.

Apu steps down from his school bus
Seeing a busy  dragon fly
On the grass top patch
Of the curb at Ballygunge footpath
He stood still for a moment.
He is keenly hearing the musical buzz
Of the dragonfly’s wings
That overcomes the rushing sounds
Of footsteps of his young schoolmates
In a frenzy of joy at the end of classes.

I saw Apu on the Bongaon local train
The same wonder-struck boy
After seeing a train for the first time
Crossing a terrain of khaas shrubs.
He was begging alms in the compart
While restless light played on his fingers
His eyelids, his neck and dishevelled hair.

I saw Apu at home
I saw Apu outdoors
I saw Apu yesterday
I saw Apu today, Apu.

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